The Differences Between Women and Men
Relationships:
First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it. for example:"that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.
Pour sth <-> out phrasal verb [T]
to tell someone all your unhappy thoughts or feelings:
Idiot = fool ابله
get on with sth =to continue doing something, especially after you have stopped for a short time کنار آمدن با چیزی
Break up ( n ) =when a marriage or romantic relationship ends
floozy = (Slang) woman with a bad reputation, immoral woman, prostitute.
get over = overcome غلبه کردن
Magazines:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.
Feature = emphasize, show, present
lumpy = قلنبه سلنبه
Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface--mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola's head
Vain = having too much pride in yoursel f
Locker Rooms:
In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room--sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.
exaggerate : make larger than normal اغراق کردن
nearly = Almost
Fabricate : to make up a story or a piece of information in order to deceive someone.
Bathrooms: A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Razor = تیغ صورت Inn = مهمان خانه – مسافرخانه Movies: For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind". For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy". Shove = push Menopause: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche. Menopause = the time, usually around the age of 50, when a woman stops menstruating Menstruating = when a woman menstruates every month, blood flows from her body. Provoke = stimulate Aviator = خلبانی Snazzy = very stylish Porsche = brandname of a line of luxury sports cars.
Presence of minister of Guidance in Quran fair
Minister of Islamic Education and Guidance visited Quran Nafis Neirizi, the most precious Quran in Iran, in 18th International Quran fair.
Dr. Mohammad Hosseini, Minister of Islamic Education and Guidance, visited Quran Nafis Neirizi in Quran fair on Mordad 25th after evening prayer.Minister of Guidance recommended ministeries and organizations to use the equipments of Quran fair.
18th International Quran Karim fair has been started from Mordad 17th and will be continued till Shahrivar 12th in Tehran and visitors will be served from 5 p.m until 12 p.m.
Misused forms :
1. Anxious about , not for
They ‘ re anxious about his health.
2. arrive at , not to
We arrived at the village at night.
Note: use arrive in with countries and large cities.
Mr Smith has arrived in London.
3. composed of, not from
Our class is composed of thirty students.
4. confidence in , not to
I have great confidence in you.
Note : in confidence = as a secret
Let me tell you something in confidence.
5. divide into parts , not in parts
I divided the cake into 4 parts.
I divided the apple in half ( or in two ). = Is correct
6. opposite to, not from
Their house is opposite to ours.
Their house is opposite ours is correct.
Good luck
Jokes in English for the ESL/EFL Classroom
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
-------------------------------
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
pulled over = اتوموبیل را به کنار جاده راندن ،کنار زدن
Jerk = آدم احمق و نادان
----------------------------------
"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".
---------------------------------------------------
A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
-----------------------------------
A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before!
---------------------------------------
ESL teacher: You must never begin a sentence "I is ...".
Clever student: Please sir, what's wrong with "I is a vowel".
ESL = English as a Second Language
---------------------------------------------------
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
